Green Arrow: Archer’s Quest Deluxe Edition

Green Arrow: Archer’s Quest Deluxe Edition by Brad Meltzer
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

4.5 stars

Porn-Buddies.
Yeah, that’s the basis for this book. Do you know what a porn-buddy is?
It’s that friend who, if you die, goes into your house and burns/deletes every last scrap of whatever embarrassingly deviant things you might have left behind…before your family finds it.
I know what you’re thinking…

Only Ollie doesn’t need anyone to burn his porn stash for him.
Get it? Porn Stache! Goddamnit, I’m hilarious!

Whatever. I’m funny.
Anyway, Ollie had a contingency plan to protect his family & friends in the event of his death. Someone he trusted was to find all of his Green Arrow memorabilia and get rid of it, before it could be used to ferret out the secret identities of his loved ones.
And wouldn’t you know it? He did die.

But like all good superheroes, he’s baaaaack!
So. Now, he’s got to find out if his wishes were fulfilled. And if so, he needs to collect his stuff.

This is a really cool Road Trip story for Green Arrow. Basically, he and Arsenal go out and hit all the important highlights of Ollie’s life while they search for his missing collectibles.

Remember, at the time this was written, both Hal & Barry were dead. So, this is also sort of his goodbye to each of his best friends, and there were some pretty touching moments as a result.

Plus, he’s got to come to terms with the fact that the men who replaced his friends maybe aren’t so bad. Maybe.

Not only does he want to find his goodies, but he wants to try and rectify some of the things that he didn’t do right the first time around.

Alrighty, I thought this would have been a great Green Arrow story even without the twist Metzer added to the end.
But with it, he transformed Oliver Queen’s entire backstory, and made us all think twice about everything we thought we knew about the Emerald Archer. Good stuff!

Definitely recommended for anyone who calls themselves a fan of Green Arrow.

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Review: Absolute Green Arrow by Kevin Smith

Absolute Green Arrow by Kevin Smith by Kevin Smith

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

For me, this has got to be the best stuff Kevin Smith has done in terms of comics. I’m not a big Green Arrow guy (or “Arrow” fan for that matter), I’ve really only enjoyed 2 other “resurrection” stories (Red Hood and Winter Soldier), and I’m not a die-hard Kevin Smith fanatic. That said, this is good stuff. Kevin was tasked with successfully resurrecting the original Green Arrow after he had been dead for a few years. Not really an easy gig. Well, he did a bitchin’ job.

Review: Justice League United, Vol. 1: Justice League Canada by Jeff Lemire

Justice League United, Vol. 1: Justice League Canada by Jeff Lemire

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

First off, I love my Canuck comic book buddies.
There are a lot of you, and thankfully you each seem to have an excellent sense of humor.
Especially when it comes to how poorly you guys get treated on the panels!

I was actually hoping that this would be your big BREAKOUT (and breakaway from Alpha Flight), but so far…not so much.
The good news is, JLU isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever read!
And there are is one spectacular moment in this that (honest to God) made the whole thing worth reading for me.

*WARNING: There are all kinds of spoilers below!*
Seriously. You’ve been warned. No bitching…

All of this takes place after the whole Forever Evil stuff in JLA Survivors of Evil , and now the team of B-Listers formerly known as the Justice League of America is sort of in limbo.
The only one anyone cares about real powerhouse is Martian Manhunter, but Animal Man, Stargirl, and Green Arrow are all still bopping around in the background.
Hey! What happened to Hawkman?!
I’m just assuming you asked that.
Well, now. Don’t you worry…he shows up. *insert evil cackling here*
PS – I’m fucking serious about that spoiler warning.

Get ready, because the big news is that Adam Strange and his girlfriend fiancee wife, Alanna, join the team in this one!
Yeah! Whoo-Hoo! Yeah! Yeah!

Oh. You’re not as excited as I thought you’d be.*cough* Well, that’s ok. That’s ok.
Equinox is also another new member! And when I say new, I mean it.
She’s a Native American…or is she a Native Canadian?
No, I think she’s still a Native American, because…it’s the continent not the country. Right? Am I right? I don’t want to take anything away from my Maple-SyrupLeafed friends, but I’m pretty sure it’s still Native American.
You know what…doesn’t matter.
Anyway, back to Equinox!

She’s actually pretty cool, and I’m hoping they keep this character around after they cancel this title! And it will get cancelled.
She get her powers from ‘seven elders’, and each one basically represents something good…I just can’t remember exactly what ‘good stuff’ right now.
All she has to do is say her magic word, and she controls the powers of the elements. But (I think) she can only access the element that she’s currently around.
Like, if it’s snowing she has the power of…snow.

Moving on!
There was a lot of bickering between Animal Man and Green Arrow, with each picking on the other for being The Lamest Superhero.
I liked this, because it was an attempt on Lemire’s part to address what everyone is already thinking about these guys.
Some of their interactions were funny, and some of them felt forced and hokey, but at least he tried.

Alright, alright! If you’re still reading this, it’s because you probably want to know what the hell I was talking about in the beginning that made this entire volume worthwhile.
*Ahem*
Drum roll, please…

He’s dead.

Says Supergirl…all sad n’ stuff.
Bwahahahaha! Hahahahahahaha! Ha! Hahaha! Hahahaha!
I can’t *wheeze* I can’t stop…I can’t stop laughing!
OhGod!IPeedMyself! They killed that hairy-shouldered fucker!
I should give this shit 5 stars just for this one panel alone!

Yeah, yeah. I’m sure that fucking Nth Metal will heal him.
But for one brief moment the sun shone down on me, angels sang, and little woodland creatures gently nuzzled my face…

Highly recommended if you want see Hawkman bite it!

I received a digital arc from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

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Review: Secret Origins Vol. 1 by Jeff Lemire

Secret Origins Vol. 1 by Jeff Lemire

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The only reason to read any of these Secret Origin stories, is if your are somehow unfamiliar with the characters.
Not only are the origins not Secret, they aren’t very interesting.
Somehow, I thought that because they were coming out with this Origin volume, I was going to learn something new, or maybe there might be a fresh twist on things.
Nope.
I’ll save you some time.
If you already read comic books, you’ve heard these stories before.
And, honestly, there are better versions of them out there.
Starfire and Harley Quinn were the only ones that haven’t been done to death.
Does that make them great?
No.
But at least I wasn’t rolling my eyes through either of them.
Superman, Green Lantern, and Aquaman were the only characters with stories that felt like the authors even tried to bring some kind of emotion to the table. I’m not saying they were AWESOME. I’m just saying it felt like they tried.
Green Arrow/Oliver Queen is just more we-like-the-tv-show crap, but if you’re into that, it won’t piss you off.
Batman, Batwoman, and Damien’s origins were all unbelievably regurgitated. Nothing was new.
NOTHING.
Red Robin (Drake), Robin (Grayson), and Supergirl, however, rounded out the bottom of the barrel.
I hated all of these guys by the time their issues were done.
Remember when Batman tracked Dick Grayson down and begged him to be his partner?
Yeah, me neither.
And evidently Tim Drake was super excited to partner up with Batman after he caused his poor parents to end up in witness protection.
Mom? Dad? I know I ruined your lives, but Brucey is gonna adopt me now, so…Laters! Enjoy looking over your shoulders for the rest of your (probably very short) lives!
Really? Drake comes off like a total douche. Normally, I like his character quite a bit, so…Thanks!
Supergirl.
*sigh*
One minute she’s fighting a Kryptonian dinosaur, and the next she’s (maybe) starting a war with North Korea over some of their astronauts that she saved.
Yeah. I know that nothing in that sentence made sense.

This isn’t awful, it’s just unnecessary.
It might make a nice gift for people who are just getting into DC characters, but I wouldn’t personally be thrilled to find this under my Christmas tree.

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Review: Superman: Red Son, by Mark Millar

Superman: Red Son by Mark Millar
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

OK, so I recalled reading this, but I think I got it confused with Last Son of Krypton…because there’s no WAY I wouldn’t have gushed about how awesome this book is.

Superman: Red So(u)n (You’ll get it.) is, quite possibly, Mark Millar’s finest work.

This book is so full of little teasers and links to the original DCU that it’s like a Where’s Waldo game to find them all…I only read once, and I saw a few that were AWESOME.

I could literally gush about this non-stop. It was one of those few books you read the panels over and over again just because it’s so F’n awesome. It’s also one where you cover the next page with your hand because you don’t want to get ahead of things at all, you want to inhabit this story in real time.

Millar has also done the impossible, and made a major character even better than I thought possible. (hint: I’m not talking about the main character.) Millar has taken the essence of what makes each character we encounter important, and twisted it around just enough to remain interesting, while still, importantly enough, remaining true to each character’s roots.

I don’t want to give away too much, because reading this without any spoilers or clues other than the title and the obvious fact that Superman was going to be a Soviet Comrade instead of an American Citizen.

If I was to sum up in words how much I loved this book…I think it would be:

To the Power of

Oh…then there’s the ending. Mind. Blown. BOOM.

I was so jazzed I said out loud “Holy S**t!” My wife came in to ask me what was wrong…then she saw the comic book, and started crying for some reason…anyhow. YAY! COMIC BOOK AWESOME!

So so so so sooo good. I might not be able to be friends with you if you don’t really enjoy this.

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Review: Green Arrow, Vol. 5: The Outsiders War by Jeff Lemire, Andrea Sorrentino (Illustrations)

Green Arrow, Vol. 5: The Outsiders War by Jeff Lemire

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I should probably take some time to think about it, since I just finished this one about 3 minutes ago, but…
*shrugs*
Fuck it.

I’m done.
I’m not reading another one of these stupid attempts to merge a shitty comic with an even shittier tv show.
Now Oliver Queen has some mysterious past that’s tied up in a conspiracy about THE ISLAND.
*screams internally*

The first issue is Green Arrow: Zero Year.
As in, what was Ollie up to while Bruce was taking on the Riddler in Gotham.
Shhh. No one will notice that Batman is cooler…promise.

This little adventure leads to Oliver meeting Diggle.
One fist-bump later:
TEAM ARROW!
No, really. I’m not kidding.
I was making little notes to myself when I was reading it, and the next one I have says “I’m going to throw up“.
For reals!

Mooooving on.
The Outsiders War.
Who the fuck are the Outsiders? Well, it’s not a mismatched team of kids lead by Wildcat, that’s for sure.
Not this time, anyway. Nope.
The Outsiders are…tribes. There’s the Shield tribe, the Fist tribe, the Sword tribe, and (of course) the Arrow tribe…just to name a few.
Are you seeing the pattern here?
Anyway, Ollie and Shado are searching THE ISLAND for the Totem of the Arrow, when the Shield tribe attacks them.
With shields.

Oh noes! We can’t shoot them with our arrows, because they’re blocking us with their shields!
Ouch! Now they’re tossing them at us like boomerangs!
Bong!
What the fuck is Captain America doing in the DC universe?
Wacka! Wacka! Wacka!
Let’s see what my notes say, shall we?
“This is retarded.”
Damn, I’m eloquent!

The art is ok, until you try to figure out what’s happening in any of the action panels. Then you might as well make an educated guess, and move the fuck on, because it’s not like you can actually see what the hell is happening.
Part of me liked the whole BIG WORD thing with the action happening inside, and part of me was squinting at the screen getting more and more pissed off. I have a feeling this style will work better in print than digitally, so that may have been part of my issue with it. However, for those of us who read a lot of our comics on tablets, this might pose a problem.

Let’s see what else I have..
Hmmmm. I’ll consult my notes.
“This last little bit doesn’t seem so bad. Wait. No. It sucks again.
Something, something, something. More choppy action scenes.
I hate this. Want it to end. Why is he yelling at a traumatized kid? Gotta stop requesting stuff. Ugh.”

I’ve definitely read worse, but this just didn’t work for me.
Maybe you’ll have better luck with it than I did.

Thank you NetGalley!

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Review: Green Arrow, Vol. 1: The Midas Touch by Dan Jurgens

Green Arrow, Vol. 1: The Midas Touch by Dan Jurgens

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

So Green Arrow is not the best thing to come out of the New 52, but it’s not the worst thing, either.
It lives in the Land of Meh.

As other people (Sam) have pointed out, the Billionaire Playboy/Costumed Avenger thing has already been done. And, let’s face it, done better. In a world where Iron Man and Batman reign supreme, Dan Jurgens is going to have to work hard to carve out a niche for Oliver Queen.
Did he manage to do it in The Midas Touch?
Ehhhh. Not so much.
I will say that Jurgens tried to make him cooler, and there were a few things that I really liked about this new Green Arrow. Unfortunately, they were mostly cosmetic changes.
The retarded goatee? Gone, and replaced by stubble.
The goofy Robin Hood hat? Gone, and just…gone, thankfully.

Beyond that, however, there’s still a lot of room for improvement.
For starters, I’d like to see GA fight a villain that wasn’t totally lame.
Reality TV Killers?
Are you serious, Mr. Jurgens?
As much as I think reality tv will be the downfall of modern civilization, I don’t think the idea worked well in this story. The villains came off more like punks, and less like a threat to be taken seriously.
Midas (the toxic swamp dude), was just pathetic. Really. You felt sorry for the poor guy. Not sure what we’re supposed to think about his ninja/cyborg girlfriend, but I’m assuming the story will unfold a bit more in the coming issues.

As a side note, I was somewhat annoyed by the abrupt outfit change when they switched artists toward the end. On the last page of one issue GA is facing off with Ninja Rose (or whatever her name was), and their costumes were one way. In the next page (new issue, and artist), the look of the costumes were different. I understand what happened, but since the scene flowed between two issues, it was jarring. Not to mention, Oliver Queen went from a handsome young man, to a slightly older dude that looked like his nose had been broken in too many bar fights. The petite ninja chick suddenly looked like a stocky bodybuilder, and Naomi (Queen’s own personal Oracle) was transformed from a tech-geek in a vest, to a chick who painted her clothing on. I was not a fan of the new look.

I’m not giving up on Green Arrow or Jurgens, but there are definitely some things that can be improved on in this comic.
Here’s hoping Volume 2 will be better!

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