Review: Hawkeye, Vol. 1: My Life as a Weapon by Matt Fraction, David Aja (Illustrations), Javier Pulido (Illustrations), Alan Davis (Illustrator)

Hawkeye, Vol. 1: My Life as a Weapon
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’d been looking forward to reading this for so long, that I think I had a little mini-anxiety attack when I realized I was looking at it.
I mean, all the cool kids had already read it.
And here it was, in my hands!
I. Was. Cool.

Then I opened it up. And I shit you not, my first reaction was this:
Wha..? No. But?! Mother fucker. What’s up with this ugly-ass art?! Well, shit. This is just great. So that’s what they were all talking about. That’s just…fuuuuck. God. I can’t…ugh.
So I shut it.
Yes. I was so pissed at the blocky drawings that I put it down, and went to make myself some coffee.
Because coffee is my comfort food…
And I’ll bet my secret stash mini-Snickers that you guys are all going What?! Is she insane? The art is the best part of the book!
Well, sorry. I wasn’t expecting that. And coupled with my sky-high expectations for this one? Let’s just say that I’m not terribly surprised that I had a bit of a hissy fit/mental breakdown. In fact, I can actually feel my blood pressure rising just reliving those first few moments.
Hang on. Gonna make some coffee…

I’m back.
shlurp
Ahhhhh.
Did I overreact?
Of course. Even I can see that, now. Hell, I could see it then. But I didn’t care at the time, because I was in the middle of a hormone-induced break with reality. Couldn’t be helped. There are some days when the slightest thing can send an otherwise rational woman spiraling into Crazy-Eyed-She-Devil territory. Yesterday was one of those days for me.
shlurp
I’m fine today. Mostly.
Although, I would advise that you wait a few days before mentioning that this review has turned into a bowl of rambling nonsense, just to be safe.

So how did this go from I-Want-To-Shove-It-In-My-Toilet-But-It-Won’t-Fit-Down-The-Tiny-Hole-In-The-Bottom-Of-The-Bowl, to 5 stars?
Coffee, of course.
shlurp
And maybe I raided the kid’s Easter baskets for any leftover chocolate.
Then I sat down again. And this time I read it.
Oh. Muh. Gawd.
It was everything you guys said it would be and more!
Hawkeye and Hawkeye
Bro
This looks bad
And:
The dog…
If you didn’t get a little misty-eyed about Arrow/Lucky, then I’m afraid we can’t be friends. Personally, I was slightly choked up by the time Clint named the dog.
Slightly choked up, mind you. Not a blotchy snotty mess. Nope.
Because I wasn’t a fountain of raging mood swings when I read this.

This volume also included a story from the Young Avengers at the end, and it was phenomenal!
But.
I’ll let you in on a little secret…
I missed the artwork from the Hawkeye title when I was reading it.
Don’t. Say. It.

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Review: She-Hulk, Vol. 1: Law and Disorder by Charles Soule, Javier Pulido (Illustrator), Ron Wimberly (Illustrator)

She-Hulk, Vol. 1: Law and DisorderShe-Hulk, Vol. 1: Law and Disorder by Charles Soule

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

2.5 stars

Pink Taco Buddy read with my fellow Shallow Readers!
Criteria? Chicks as the title character or in a leading role.

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It’s time for me to feel lonely, I guess. And guys? I am so sorry!
I mean it! I feel HORRIBLE! I know that literally everyone else loved this (I checked…twice!), but I just didn’t think it was all that awesome.

Ok. The very first issue was great, and if I’d reviewed that by itself, I would have given it 4 stars. Easy.
She-Hulk does cute stuff, gets fired, helps out a villain’s widow, and gets enough money to set up a low-rent law firm.
Cute!
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Was I in love with the art?
Not so much.
But it was whimsical, and it fit in with the sort of silly/fun first couple of issues, so it was ok. The stories still weren’t WOWing me, but they were alright.
There was a Dr. Doom thing that led Jen to a meet with Daredevil for advice, and it was cute. I didn’t really care about the outcome of the plot, but it was Cute!

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Then it wasn’t cute.
It was FUGLY. FUG-LY!
There just aren’t even enough words out there for me to express my displeasure. I HATED the art in the last few issues.
HATED IT!
Please, pleasepleaseplease! Will somebody tell me that they are seeing the same thing that I am?!
Are you seriously telling me you didn’t notice this?

What. The. Fuck?!
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Again! THE FUCK?!
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I can’t even…
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The entire time I’m reading this I’m internally screaming, “What the hell is that stupid top-knot on her head?!“.
Did no one else have a reaction to the fact that Jen looked like a man with a penchant for granny buns?
You know what? Every time I look at that art, it just pisses me off.
I’m actually UPSET right now from having to copy and paste the links!
And, yes, I understand that I must sound like a crazy person.
*pant, pant*
See, this was going to be part of my Green buddy read, but I hated it so badly…BURN IT WITH FIRE!…that I decided to try to give myself a little time and distance before I wrote the review.
IT’S NOT HELPING!
I’m going to wrap this up, because my mouse keeps (all by itself!) hovering over the one star button.
Ok, I know that it wouldn’t be a fair rating. The first few issues were cute, and even though the last few (my opinion) were a bit stupid, the entire volume wasn’t a wash for me.
I HATE THAT FUCKING ART!

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