Review: Hawkeye, Vol. 1: My Life as a Weapon by Matt Fraction, David Aja (Illustrations), Javier Pulido (Illustrations), Alan Davis (Illustrator)

Hawkeye, Vol. 1: My Life as a Weapon
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’d been looking forward to reading this for so long, that I think I had a little mini-anxiety attack when I realized I was looking at it.
I mean, all the cool kids had already read it.
And here it was, in my hands!
I. Was. Cool.

Then I opened it up. And I shit you not, my first reaction was this:
Wha..? No. But?! Mother fucker. What’s up with this ugly-ass art?! Well, shit. This is just great. So that’s what they were all talking about. That’s just…fuuuuck. God. I can’t…ugh.
So I shut it.
Yes. I was so pissed at the blocky drawings that I put it down, and went to make myself some coffee.
Because coffee is my comfort food…
And I’ll bet my secret stash mini-Snickers that you guys are all going What?! Is she insane? The art is the best part of the book!
Well, sorry. I wasn’t expecting that. And coupled with my sky-high expectations for this one? Let’s just say that I’m not terribly surprised that I had a bit of a hissy fit/mental breakdown. In fact, I can actually feel my blood pressure rising just reliving those first few moments.
Hang on. Gonna make some coffee…

I’m back.
shlurp
Ahhhhh.
Did I overreact?
Of course. Even I can see that, now. Hell, I could see it then. But I didn’t care at the time, because I was in the middle of a hormone-induced break with reality. Couldn’t be helped. There are some days when the slightest thing can send an otherwise rational woman spiraling into Crazy-Eyed-She-Devil territory. Yesterday was one of those days for me.
shlurp
I’m fine today. Mostly.
Although, I would advise that you wait a few days before mentioning that this review has turned into a bowl of rambling nonsense, just to be safe.

So how did this go from I-Want-To-Shove-It-In-My-Toilet-But-It-Won’t-Fit-Down-The-Tiny-Hole-In-The-Bottom-Of-The-Bowl, to 5 stars?
Coffee, of course.
shlurp
And maybe I raided the kid’s Easter baskets for any leftover chocolate.
Then I sat down again. And this time I read it.
Oh. Muh. Gawd.
It was everything you guys said it would be and more!
Hawkeye and Hawkeye
Bro
This looks bad
And:
The dog…
If you didn’t get a little misty-eyed about Arrow/Lucky, then I’m afraid we can’t be friends. Personally, I was slightly choked up by the time Clint named the dog.
Slightly choked up, mind you. Not a blotchy snotty mess. Nope.
Because I wasn’t a fountain of raging mood swings when I read this.

This volume also included a story from the Young Avengers at the end, and it was phenomenal!
But.
I’ll let you in on a little secret…
I missed the artwork from the Hawkeye title when I was reading it.
Don’t. Say. It.

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Review: FF by Jonathan Hickman, Vol. 1 by Jonathan Hickman, Steve Epting (Illustrations), Barry Kitson (Illustrations)

FF by Jonathan Hickman, Vol. 1

 

FF by Jonathan Hickman, Vol. 1 by Jonathan Hickman

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

 

Our FOURTH week of Shallow Buddy reads is a nod to Marvel’s oldest family, The Fantastic Four!

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Sadly, Johnny Storm is dead. So, FF now stands for Future Foundation.
Because Fantastic Three just doesn’t have the same ring to it, you know?

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Each member of the family is dealing with it in their own way.
But everyone has been hit hard by his death, including his best friend, Spidey.

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Ironically, Johnny has left a last will and testament (of sorts) that names Peter as his successor, should anything happen to him.
After all, who wouldn’t want to be part of the Fantastic Four Future Foundation? And if anyone can replace the sexy playboy persona of the Human Torch, it’s Spider-Man!

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I thought Hickman missed an opportunity to bring a little more humor to the tile by not using Peter to his full extent…quip-wise, anyway. Unfortunately, to me, he seemed a bit like an afterthought to the entire story. He didn’t really add anything to the dynamic, because with Alex Power in full dress-up mode, they already had a fourth (quasi-adult) member. I wasn’t upset that Spider-man was included in the line-up, but I wasn’t impressed with him just being there, either.

The actual plot was…well, it was classic Fantastic Four wackiness.
You remember all of those Alternate Reeds who formed a secret cabal in some pocket area of limbo?
Yeah, me neither.
But they’re out there…lurking. Making dirty deals with the Mole Man, and other random not-human villains that I didn’t recognize.
Turns out, not all Reeds are created equally. And not all Reeds give a shit about pesky little things like morality.
Yeah. So it appears that there are several evil versions of Mr. Richards running around wreaking havoc on our Earth.

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The solution?
Call in all of his greatest nemeses, and have those fellas band together to come up with a plan, of course!
Enter DOOM!
And other less recognizable important villains.
And did they help?
*shrugs*
I don’t know. Maybe? Ish? It’s so hard to get a straight answer out of this title!

On a somewhat unrelated note:
Doesn’t Reed just look
sassy
on this cover?
WhoTheFuck thought this was a good look for a middle-aged married man?!
He looks like he’s about three seconds away from breaking out into a rendition of Over the Rainbow! Admit it, you know I’m right.

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Alright back to the story.
Of course, those darn Franklin kids were running all over the place.
The creepy little girl, Valeria, played an especially large role in the story. And, naturally, she knows more than she’s letting on at first.
Ugh. She freaks me out! Am I the only one who gets the shivers from this kid?

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The Inhumans show up at the end, so I’m pretty sure that if this new team can’t put a stop to the bad guys’ shenanigans, Medusa and Black Bolt will sort ’em out.

Ok. Here’s the thing, I really want to like the Fantastic Four. I feel like I should somehow connect to these characters, because they’re a family, and I’m a family kind of gal.
Somehow, I should recognize something of myself in Sue, because she’s a smokin’ hot wife and mother like me, right?
But…I just don’t.
I always end up feeling bad for her.
She should have swallowed those weird kids when she had the chance, and left Bill Nye the Science Guy for Namor a looooong time ago.
*sigh*
A girl can dream, right?

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Not a bad first volume for FF, but I’m still not sold on this team. Lucky me, I’ve got a whole week of their titles! Maybe the next one will hit that honey spot?

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