Review: Harley Quinn, Vol. 1: Hot in the City by Amanda Conner, Jimmy Palmiotti

Harley Quinn, Vol. 1: Hot in the CityHarley Quinn, Vol. 1: Hot in the City by Amanda Conner

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Read as a digital arc. Thank you NetGalley and the publishers!

 

So, I didn’t like it.
The first issue was this somewhat interesting Dream Sequence, in which Harley has this ‘conversation with the writers’, and together they try out artists for her comic book.
I say somewhat interesting, because there was no real story here, but it was fun to see the different artists switch things up from page to page.
Here are a few examples:

Art Baltazar
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Adam Hughes
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Darwyn Cooke
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So. There was that. And even though it didn’t do anything plot-wise, I had fun Googling some of the artists that I didn’t recognize.
In fact, that first little bit is the only reason I’m not give the entire volume 1 star, because after that it quickly went downhill.

Quick test.
Do you like slapstick?
Yes? Then you might enjoy this one.
Unfortunately, I have a low tolerance for sight gags.
So, after a while?
This:
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Started to look like, well…
This:
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And, hey, if you like that sort of thing?
Then, by all means, grab your poncho and pull up a seat.

Alrighty, the next question you need to ask yourself is this:
How badly do you want to see Harley and Ivy make out?
Again, personally, I liked that these two were friends (without benefits), but there’s enough lesbian H&I fanfic out there to convince me that I may be in the minority with this one.
Whoa!
Down boys! And girls!
It’s not like you’re going to get to see a money shot. However, lots and lots of innuendo later, it looks like these ladies have taken their relationship to the ‘next level’.

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Anyway.
Harley befriends a psychotic old man, gets a bunch of pets, sleepwalks, and accidentally swallows some of Ivy’s date rape seeds.
Yum.
There are a few funny/memorable scenes, but not enough to make me want to recommend it to anyone.
I’m sure plenty of readers will love this, but it just wasn’t my cuppa.

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Review: East of West Vol. 2 by Jonathan Hickman

East of West, Vol. 2: We Are All OneEast of West, Vol. 2: We Are All One by Jonathan Hickman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

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W.H.A.T.

T.H.E.

F.U.C.K.

Pretty much sums it up.

SO: Death and his wife had a kid. The Kid ain’t dead. He’s on a quest to save the kid. He’ll take down everyone on the way.
The 7 States of the US and their alliance is falling apart, everyone turns on everyone. The Message is a crock of shit. The interesting part will be to see how they rip each other apart.
We get some more background on the Texas people, this includes a BRUTALLY OBVIOUS ripoff of Judge Dredd. Like I’m serious, how is this not Copyright infringement???

Anyhoo…then there’s a creature with no eyes in the bottom of the ocean, which opens because Death said so. Then the creature steal’s Death’s eye as payback. Then gives him no real info.

I thought Death would be smarter than this.

There’s some more side story about the Kingdom of New Orleans, the United section, the Republic, and the Oracle type dude who’s the head of the Message religion.
Oh and the stupid 3 Horsemen of the Apocalypse kids are still doing stuff.

WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS GOING? Or is this just proof that Hickman drops more acid than Grant Morrison? Seriously. I wonder.

The colours sure are pretty. Especially when high.

It wasn’t boring.

Take it with a grain of salt and a handful of pills…

I think I liked Vol. 1 more.

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Review: East of West Vol. 1 by Jonathan Hickman

East of West, Vol. 1: The PromiseEast of West, Vol. 1: The Promise by Jonathan Hickman

I read this last night, followed right after by Vol. 2…I must disclose this to you my loyal followers and Shallows…I was high as fuck on Percs.

Therefore, I’m not sure, but I think this made it far more interesting to me than it had any right to be.
I woke up this afternoon to explain the basic plot to my wife, and afterwards, even I thought I was a raving lunatic…

In a parallel Earth, the American Civil War had an entirely different outcome. There were then 7 sectors that the US was divided into (Texas, New Shanghai, New Orleans, Dead Lands (Native) and some other shit.) The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse came to Earth minus Death, who didn’t show up. They’re reincarnated as Children this time…and all different colours…ya. So they’re actually the figureheads of a Religion called “The Message”.
Death is like the Clint Eastwood character, from Josey Wales/Unforgiven. Going around and revenging for being killed…wait…Death was killed? Umm…huh?
Turns out the heads of the 7 families/sections of US didn’t like him. He’s Tarantinoing them. With the help of his 2 trusty Native helpers, Wolf and Crow (these characters are black and white.) Death is all White instead of black, so we know with the cowboy hat, he’s the good guy…I think…
Then we discover he’s super pissed because they took his wife…Death had a wife…yup.
She’s this Asian girl, who’s the daughter of MAO V, the 5th descendant of Mao Zedong…ya.
Then he gets info, and goes and with his 2 helpers, destroys the ENTIRE New Shanghai army.
She’s not happy to see him, because she blames him for the death of their child…ya…Death has a kid!
Then he reveals something, and goes on a quest…

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Ya. Me too Slim. Me too…

If I hadn’t been high this might have hurt my head. Instead, it’s like when you’re super exhausted but you stay up to watch a shitty B-movie on late night TV, and are very amused by it.
I was amused, I smirked, and was like…OK sure why not.

However…this is a derivative piece of writing which I’m amazed hasn’t got Hickman sued 10 ways til Tuesday. It’s a ripoff of just about EVERYTHING.

So I’m very conflicted, because I see that, but yet, my altered state found it amusing, but not enjoyable…I mean, it was better than Justice League Trinity War…(sorry Anne!) but still…I’m not going to say it was good. It wasn’t bad. It just was.

I read part 2 as well…because I got high.

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I don’t feel like I should recommend this, but I also feel like it’s a trip…Kinda like watching The Wall movie…same rules: DON’T DO IT SOBER!

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Review: Fables Vol. 4 – March of the Wooden Soldiers, by Bill Willingham

Fables, Vol. 4: March of the Wooden Soldiers (Fables, #4)Fables, Vol. 4: March of the Wooden Soldiers by Bill Willingham
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

OK, so it’s been a bit of a gap since I read Vol. 3, but this was a very solid book, and marks the point at which we go dark and gritty (not in the stupid DC way though).

Upheaval is in motion in Fabletown: Prince Charming, after dispatching Bluebeard, is ready to make a run for Mayor, and control. We get a history lesson from Boy Blue about the last days of the resistance against the Adversary. (Actually a pretty cool story, featuring an appearance from Robin Hood and some others, and also showing Red Riding Hood, who I had mistakenly assumed was Rose Red, Snow White’s sister…turns out they’re 2 different women!).
There’s also an invasion, through Canada of all places (which has a gate leading to the old lands), and Bigby Wolf goes all Wolverine on it (I think it was intentional, and if not, well then, good job anyhow. I liked it).

Wolf and Snow’s relationship develops, and we get to see him…Hulk Up for lack of a better term. We also see Boy Blue show some mettle, espionage, and the death of a poor boy. The invasion is from the Wooden Soldiers, who we discover come from the same source as a boy with a long nose…

There’s some pretty solid stuff here, good storytelling and world building, and I like where they’ve left it, with Fabletown pulling together as one, working and proving they’re a pretty smart bunch of folks, even when it costs them some of their friends.

There’s also a fantastic line, from one of the main Wooden Soldiers, where he expresses his desire “To go forth and bust off caps” or something to that effect…it’s quite funny, like a British stuffy person trying to talk Gangsta.

Either way, a very solid volume.

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